A Nervous System Regulation Sequence for Anger
This post is a nervous system regulation sequence that will give you some recommendations on how to release anger without harming yourself or others.
Like the posts about The Butterfly Hug, An Uplifting Somatic Practice, another Daily Somatic Practice, The Self Hug, and How to Regulate the Fight Response Without Fighting in this piece I’m highlighting a nervous system regulation sequence for anger that I learned from @mind.psy.guidance on Instagram.
I’ve written previously about how Rage is something I inherited from my family, and I mean that in many different ways. Since my birth, I witnessed the Rage that my family members expressed towards me and towards others. It came out in specific extreme instances but was also at a constant simmer underneath every interaction. It was a continuous juggling act to try to maintain homeostasis in our household with a fear that any moment could break the equilibrium and escalate.
When I learned about Intergenerational Trauma, I recognized that my family was continuing the cycle by inflicting the trauma they experienced onto others (including me). I realized that by not acknowledging their own traumas they were unable to understand what they were doing was traumatizing. If they admit that what they are doing is traumatizing then they have to admit that they have both 1) been traumatized and also 2) been the one who caused harm through their perpetuation of the trauma.
On top of the environmental aspect of Intergenerational Trauma where literal traumas are being inflicted onto further generations, there’s Genetic Trauma where Ancestral Trauma causes changes to DNA that are posited to be passed down epigenetically.
One time when I was talking to my doctor, I said something like, “Well, after I got my fibromyalgia diagnosis my maternal grandmother admitted that she already had the same diagnosis, and my mother ended up getting one after me. If they’re saying that fibromyalgia may be related to the trauma and stress that you’ve been through and my mother and her mother have also been traumatized, then it only makes sense that I would end up having the same health problems when I’ve got my traumas, my mother’s traumas, & her mother’s traumas within my genes.” My doctor replied something like, “I don’t think it works like that.” I didn’t say anything in response, but in my head I was like, “I don’t think you know much about trauma.”
I could probably write more about the various ways that Intergenerational Trauma has impacted me, (maybe in a future post!) but the point of bringing this up was to say that if at any point within my family line a person had the right tools & information to understand that it is okay to feel a multitude of emotions including happiness, sadness, and anger, but that there were options on how to process these feelings through actions that didn’t cause harm to themself or others, hopefully those tools would have been passed down instead of (or even alongside) the trauma.
A Nervous System Regulation Sequence for Anger:
Slam a Pillow. This is similar to the throw a pillow/plushie suggestion in a previous post. I always have a hard time expressing anger onto a stuffed animal because then every time I look at them I have that angry association. It was refreshing to see the suggestion that you have a dedicated pillow (or plushie) that wouldn’t have other assocations (like a pillow you use for sleeping).
Squeeze a Pillow. These pillow recommendations are inspiring me to add these tips to my Upcycling Pinterest board for ways I can reuse pillows that I no longer use for sleeping. I’m about to pull out a pillow right now to use on future angry days!
Shake Out Your Body. After you finish squeezing your pillow and activating your muscles, shaking it out will help you to release the tension in your muscles.
Slow Your Breathing. Shift from shaking out your body to just swaying your body as you slow down your breathing. This can signal to your brain that it is time to calm down by activating your Parasympathetic Nervous System.
If you aren’t able to calm down after completing the sequence, repeat steps as necessary.
Even though I have chosen to not have any children and personally perpetuate my families’ lineages, and I only have contact with a select few members of my family, I am still prioritizing my personal healing. I am learning how to regulate my nervous system when I become dysregulated. I am compiling a variety of tools (including somatic trauma healing techniques) to help me process my feelings. And I am sharing what I’m learning with others in hopes that it will ripple out into the world.
~The Overstimulated
Special thanks to Morgan Starr-Riestis for sharing this post (& many others!) on the mind.psy.guidance Instagram page. (I have no affiliation; I’m just a follower on IG.)