The Self Hug
A post about the self holding somatic therapy exercise often called the Self Hug.
On our journey together of learning somatic exercises for self-regulation, we’ve covered The Butterfly Hug, An Uplifting Somatic Practice, Cold Exposure Techniques, and another Daily Somatic Practice. If your life is anything like mine, you probably don’t have the time and energy to practice ALL of these every single day. But knowing that we all have busy lives with different priorities, I still tenderly suggest that you prioritize a few minutes in each day to try one of them, whenever possible.
I recognize that there are valid criticisms about the Love Languages and their creator, but when I realized that my primary love language is Physical Touch, it really put a lot of things in perspective for me. Learning that hugs strengthen your immune system, increase your feelings of safety and belonging, and increase feelings of self worth/love/esteem, it really helped me feel better about my constant craving for hugs.
My partner is not a very physically affectionate person in that he does not initiate physical contact very often. In order to deal with the discrepancy of my desire for physical touch and his lack of spontaneous contact, I have started just walking up to him and asking for a hug when I need one. We have yet to get into a rhythm where we’re getting the daily required amount of hugs for maintenance or growth, but the quantity (& quality) of our hugs has still tremendously improved!
I wholeheartedly disagree with the idea of self-sufficiency and believe that humans require community and connection to truly thrive. However, I know there are times where I need physical touch but, for one reason or another, I am unable to procure it from another person. In those instances, I can turn to the Self Hug to activate the pressure receptors on my skin, stimulate the Vagus Nerve, and send Proprioceptive signals to my brain that help me feel more aware of my body and lift my levels of self-worth.
Note: This exercise can be done either sitting or standing, and you may even be able to do it lying down.
How to do the Self Hug:
Move your right arm across your body to place your right hand in a comfortable position underneath your left armpit.
Cross your left arm over your right one with your left hand comfortably grasping your right arm near the shoulder.
Hold this position as though you are giving yourself a firm but gentle hug.
Pay attention to what is happening within your body. A body scan may help you determine what sensations or emotions you are currently experiencing.
As you settle into the position, allow yourself to feel supported. Some people refer to this as feeling your body as a container, and as you develop this container through somatic exercises (like this self hug) you can let yourself feel “contained.”
You can close your eyes or keep them open, whatever you are feeling in this moment.
Try to stay in this position long enough for a shift to happen within. You may naturally change your breathing and feel different sensations within your body.
Once you feel a shift, either within yourself or the world around you, let yourself gently come back to the space around you as you end the self hug position.
When I first started exploring mindfulness and meditation, I really disliked body scans. They are supposed to help you notice the pain and tension you hold in your body so that you can address those areas to hopefully release the tension and relieve the pain. As a person with chronic pain, I am accustomed to intentionally overlooking my daily pain in order to get through my day. Focusing on the pain points during a body scan did the opposite of relaxing me; it heightened my anxieties about my body which aggravated my mental state.
Even though I did not immediately like body scans (and meditation in general!) I kept at it. I am not a professional by any means, but it is not as difficult anymore as it once was. I do not find the body scans to be as awful either. Along with my daily meditation practice, the addition of somatic exercises has increased my body awareness. It also feels like my pain levels have decreased. I am not claiming that either of these things is a cure-all, but the implentation of them in my life has definitely helped! I still have bad flare-ups where I have to spend my entire day in bed, but I am no longer afraid of doing a Self Hug to feel what is going on within myself because I feared that feeling the pain and other body sensations would cause me to spiral out.
Practicing somatic techniques has assisted me in recognizing the emotions and sensations within myself which has helped me not get overwhelmed by them as much or as often. I’m hoping that by sharing what I have learned and how I’m trying to navigate my own trauma healing journey that I can help someone else too.
~The Overstimulated
If you’d like a video demonstration:
Self Hug (TikTok by @ abihofweber)
The same video is also on Instagram here.
For further reading, I encourage you to check out some of the source material I used to create this piece.
Peter Levine’s Self Holding Exercises for Sufferers of PTSD – PART 1 (New Synapse)
Are You Getting Enough Hugs? (Forbes)
How Many Hugs Do We Need a Day to be Happy? (Psychology Spot)
The Healing Power of Hugs (Psychology Today)
How to Do a Body Scan Meditation (and Why You Should) (Healthline)
