Diagnostic Mammogram & Results
This post is about my mammogram + ultrasound and the results I received.
As I sat in my spouse’s vehicle in the parking lot of the same imaging center that I’ve visited half a dozen times in the past two months, I listened to a 5-minute meditation out loud, since we were once again very early. I checked in via the text message reminder that told me I wouldn’t have to check in again once inside and should just take a seat in the third floor waiting room until my name was called. However, once I got up to the suite on the third floor, the receptionist informed me that the message was inaccurate, and I would still need to check in with her. It was a brief check-in process, but it was still slightly annoying since I had done the e-check-in on my computer yesterday, checked in via text message, and then had to redo some of the same questions in person. It did give me the opportunity to request that the person who was doing my appointment wear a mask.
I didn’t have to wait very long in the waiting room, but the person who came out to get me was unmasked. After exchanging hellos, I immediately asked if they had a mask they could wear with me. After I said it, the receptionist came out from behind the desk and said to the nurse, “I left you a note about the mask, but I guess you didn’t see it.” The nurse grabbed a mask from a box nearby and put it on right away with no fuss. Even though it slightly increases my anxiety to have to request that people wear a mask with me at my appointments, the more I do it, the less anxious I am about it. It helps that no one has declined or had a very negative reaction, even if I have gotten some looks or exacerbated sighs before they mask up. Also, the anxiety I do feel when I advocate for myself is nothing compared to the anxiety I would have for the next two weeks if I hadn’t said anything and just dealt with someone unmasked breathing on me.
The mammogram tech nurse was very friendly during the process with me. They helped me put my breasts into the machine correctly and guided me step by step with how I should position my body parts in order to get the correct angles. Since I have this lump in my armpit that caused me to have to have a diagnostic appointment instead of a routine one, I was given a little tab with a bb in it that was adhesive on the back that I needed to place on top of my lump. After the standard images of my breasts were taken between the plates, I was moved into different angles to try to get the lump into the machine. The entire process for this portion probably only took 10 minutes. Thankfully, the way my breasts are shaped, I don’t find the mammogram process to cause pain. It can be slightly uncomfortable, but the brevity of the process is tolerable.
After that first part, still dressed in my top half only hospital gown and pants, I grabbed my shirt and coat and was taken to “more private” area where I waited for the next bit. It was a dimly lit room with soft rock playing. As I listened to Hall & Oates, I wondered how many people have sat in this room having a panic attack or finding a moment of solitude before they were given bad news. On the table in the corner, there was a basket filled with handmade origami cranes with inspirational messages on them. I didn’t pick through them to see what they all said, but I grabbed the first one I gravitated towards. I accidentally ended up with two, but the one I didn’t intend to pick said “Walk by Faith” on it. That’s not really my vibe, so I put it back in the front for someone else later.
I did have to wait a while in that room which gave me a lot of time (20-30 minutes) to think. Surprisingly, I wasn’t feeling worried. I was feeling very warm though! I had my long sleeve shirt and coat draped over my arm, and I was wearing a short sleeve hospital gown top (open in the front) that wasn’t even tied together (just pulled closed) along with the pants and boots I had on when I arrived. I started sweating a bit in my mask as I wondered if this little room had extra heat pumped into it because the occupants would often be in hospital gowns as they waited.
The ultrasound tech came to get me. They didn’t introduce themselves at all, but I was just happy they had a mask on without me having to say anything. I don’t know if that’s just how they roll or if someone had advised them that I requested it. The ultrasound portion was pretty quick too. They put some warm, blue goo into my armpit and moved the wand over my lump to take some images. A washcloth was placed over the breast on that side to cover me as they did it. When they were done, they moved the washcloth over the goo and left it in my armpit while they went to get the doctor.
It wasn’t very long before the ultrasound tech came with the doctor (who also wore a mask), but because I was lying flat on my back in a dark room, I felt like I was about to fall asleep. I had to force myself to keep my eyes open, just in case. The doctor/radiologist showed me on the screen how there was a light/white line at the top that was the edge of my skin, and there was another light/white line underneath the lump which meant that it was entirely in my skin, not down in the lymph nodes. I took this as a positive as it was further explained that I have another cyst.
This one is called a “dermal inclusion cyst or sebaceous cyst.” I forgot to ask how they are caused, but this description leads me to believe the origin was when I cut myself shaving my armpits. The doctor said since it causes me pain when things rub on it that it might be infected and that antibiotics should help clear it. I also asked if there was anything else I could do, and I was advised that I could try warm compresses. If the compresses and antibiotics don’t resolve it, I would need to have a surgeon remove it. I am currently planning to try a warm compress once or twice a day, and depending on whether or not I have an ulcer and will already need antibiotics for that, I will reach out to my primary doctor about antibiotics for this, if necessary.
It was a short interaction with the radiologist, but during our exchange I was asked how old I was. When I said, 42, I got the eyebrows raised incredulous look, as the doctor said, “You look younger!” Out of habit, I replied, “Thank you.” I wondered if it was the hot pink polish on my nails or the turquoise plaid pants or the scrunchy in my hair that made me seem younger. But this is such a common occurience, that it could just be something inherent about me that somehow misleads people into thinking I am younger than my current age. The doctor noticed in my chart that I have already started getting my yearly mammograms and told me to come back in another year for my routine one.
I made a comment about how I was hoping for results like this and not anything more serious. There had only been a brief moment as I was attempting to stay awake in the interim between my ultrasound and my results where I let myself wonder “What If” about the lump being something more concerning, like cancer. I quickly pushed the thought away though, and I told myself I would cross that bridge if needed. I thought of the quote my friend shared with me earlier in the year that I am using as a mantra for 2024, “Don’t borrow anguish from tomorrow.”
This is unusual territory for me as I am notorious for going down all the different paths to try to determine the most likely conclusion in every scenario. It still feels a bit strange to not explore potential outcomes as thoroughly as I used to, but I do think that actively trying not to do that has decreased my anxiety and helped my mental health. I am not perfect in this regard, but I am finding it easier to deal with things (one at a time) by trying this new technique.
After my appointments, I got into the car where my spouse was waiting and told him the news. I was marveling at how quickly I had the results and wondered aloud why they only give you immediate information when it’s a mammogram/ultrasound on breasts/armpit and not for other types. “Like, you’re telling me that a radiologist could be on hand to review things immediately instead of having to wait hours or days for results, but it is only common practice when it is about boobs?!” I am very happy that I had answers immediately, but I feel like this could be implemented for other types of appointments too.
Today’s imaging was the last scheduled appointments I had for my Maintenance March, and I am pumped that I survived all of them. In April, I will have two quick follow-up appointments for my second vaccine shot and to remove a little more of an area I had taken off at the dermatologist (atypical, precancerous, but nothing major). Otherwise, I do not have any more medical appointments on my schedule until September! That means I will have the rest of the Spring and all of the Summer to do whatever I want without having to worry about health stuff. (Knock on wood, if you’re superstitious like that.)
I’m feeling very fortunate that I got through all these different health concerns without finding something serious. I plan to drop off my stool sample tomorrow, and I guess I’m “hoping” for an ulcer to find a resolution for my current pains. But since I have chronic pain already, that’s just my unavoidable day-to-day reality. As I start the new month in a few days, I plan to attempt to re-incorporate my daily yoga flow and physical therapy exercises, so I can slowly get back into the groove after falling off while I wasn’t feeling well enough to maintain. I am feeling very optimistic about the near future, and I hope I can retain this sentiment.
~The Overstimulated
